


Ghosts in the Daylight

by ElinorJane



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hera's there for him, Kanan Jarrus Has PTSD, Space Parents, and trust issues, healthy couple, healthy relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:48:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28654494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElinorJane/pseuds/ElinorJane
Summary: They had to have talked about this more. Set right after S2 Episode “Relics of the Old Republic”.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Ghosts in the Daylight

Hera paused in the common room. Kanan had sat at the derjak table for the last hour, repairing or cleaning or checking his lightsaber. Actually, Hera didn’t know for sure what he was doing, but he seemed absorbed and troubled.

The last two pieces clicked into place, and Kanan held the hilt in his hands for a moment. Then he began to disassemble it.

“Finished yet?” Hera asked.

He glanced up briefly and resumed his work without an answer. Hera frowned. She crossed the room and sat beside him on the couch.

“Where are Ezra and Sabine?” Kanan’s voice was low.

“Ezra’s in his room. Sabine is on the command ship with Commander Sato.” Hera scooted closer to him and said softly, “Talk to me, love.”

Kanan let his lightsaber pieces fall to the table, and he gave a heavy sigh. “I’d feel better if she were back on board.”

“Why?”

Kanan didn’t reply.

“Because of Rex?”

He scowled at his lightsaber pieces.

She’d guessed as much. “I know. But Rex seems like a good man.” She put a hand on Kanan’s arm. “Ahsoka trusts him.”

“I trusted them too,” Kanan muttered bitterly. “Once.” He shut his eyes and dropped his forehead into his hands.

Hera rubbed his shoulder with a sympathetic look. After a pause, she said, “You know if he wanted to kill you or the kids, he would have. And Ahsoka wouldn’t ask you to find and bring back someone who might betray the fleet.”

“That’s last one’s your department,” Kanan remarked dryly. He lifted his head and heaved a breath. “I know. Been telling myself all that since we left Seelos. Doesn’t make it easy.” He turned to her suddenly with a piercing gaze. “Would you trust your father again?”

Hera almost flinched. It was a vulnerable spot that she knew Kanan wouldn’t even touch in any other circumstances. He was hurting too much to think how his question might come across.

She remembered the haunted look in his eyes when he finally trusted her with what had happened to him, to his beloved master. She’d pieced together something terrible had happened, from looks, reactions, and remarks started and then cut off with no further explanation. But she hadn’t guessed the truth. And when he’d chosen to confide and to relive those memories, she’d wished she could do something to take the pain away.

She’d since learned she couldn’t remove the pain. But she could help him through it. And the least she could do was acknowledge his struggle. She dropped her gaze and thought seriously about the question.

_Would you trust you father again? ___

__“I…I don’t know,” she said at last. “I suppose it…would depend.”_ _

__Kanan sighed, and his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, Hera.”_ _

__“No, I understand. In a way,” she added. She’d realized long ago that though she bore hurt and painful memories of her own, she would never truly understand what he had gone through, unless it happened to her._ _

__“I don’t want him near the kids.”_ _

__“Okay.” It might not always be possible, but the least she could do was humor Kanan for a while until his mind was more at ease. She put her hands on both his shoulders and rubbed them gently._ _

__“I don’t want to risk it,” Kanan said sharply. “If something happens—if he forgets his apparent loyalty to this Rebellion—and it happens around the kids?” He shook his head fiercely._ _

__“It won’t,” Hera whispered. She set a hand on each of his shoulders and looked him in the eyes. “Do you trust me?”_ _

“Of course. It’s _him_ I don’t trust.”

__“And you don’t want to, do you?”_ _

__Kanan dropped his gaze. “I can’t…can’t just forget…”_ _

__“No one’s asking you to forget, Kanan. No one’s asking you to pretend it didn’t happen or pretend you’re not hurt.” Hera rubbed his shoulder._ _

__“And what are you asking?”_ _

__“Just to give Rex a chance,” Hera said softly. “Not trust him completely yet, not take a risk you’re not ready for. Not to ask the kids to do something you’re not ready for. Just to give a chance.” She added with a small smile, “I know you can do that. You gave a chance to everyone on our crew.”_ _

__Kanan sighed. “Yeah, well, that’s different.”_ _

__“Even after you discovered Sabine was ex-Imperial.”_ _

__Kanan sent her an annoyed expression. “Sabine was a kid in over her head.”_ _

__“Just making a point, love.”_ _

__Kanan sighed again and shut his eyes. Hera shifted closer and put her arm around his back, resting her head on his shoulder. “I would never ask you to ignore your past, act like it didn’t happen. No one is. And no one expects you to put everything behind you overnight. Just…to take one small step. That’s all.”_ _

__Silence again, that stretched out slowly._ _

__“They took her life,” Kanan whispered. “She gave her life for mine. I still don’t know why.”_ _

__Hera nodded against his shoulder. “I know,” she whispered. She wound her other arm around him, clasping her hands together at his side. “She cared about you, Kanan. Wanted you to live. You’d do the same for any of the kids.”_ _

__“Yeah.” His voice was low. He slipped an arm around her, pulling her closer and resting his forehead on her head as though trying to ground himself._ _

__“We’ll be okay,” Hera whispered. “You’ll be okay.”_ _

__“Just one step,” Kanan murmured._ _

__“Just one.”_ _

**Author's Note:**

> So, um, I want to be like Hera when I grow up. :-)


End file.
